


Blurbs/One Shots-Dump

by Mr-MistyEyed (tallxboys)



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Existential Angst, Existential Crisis, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Homophobia, Imagines, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Random - Freeform, Religion, Short, Trench Era, Violence, Words without a home, blurbs, dema, good ole days, i force pretty boys to have my problems so i forget i have those problems, idk - Freeform, let me word vomit, old timey twenty one pilots, one shots, please make me stop talking, stories without a home, this whole thing's a mess, trench, tyler has a lot of existential fear, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-09-26 03:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20383162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tallxboys/pseuds/Mr-MistyEyed
Summary: exactly what the title says heyjyler/jebby/joshler-the whole nine yardsthis is so messy who let my brain let me do this





	1. space scientist girlfriend with her cute space loving drumming boyfriend

Debby. 

Her teams best researcher. Her passions for space and aliens not growing thin from her childlike wonder days.

It was exciting--Thinking of the possibilities of what’s out there; And that we’re not alone. 

Every small, yet, extravagant discovery shoots happiness straight into her veins. 

Little Debby would be thrilled to find out where she would be, what she would be learning, and seeing, in this point of her life. 

Every all night study was so worth the conversations she’s mentioned in about how intelligent and passionate she was about all of this. 

Joshua. 

Her friend--Nothing special, but her friend nonetheless. 

He played the drums. He played with his entire being. Heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears. 

It was his passion. It was his own space--His own galaxy full of aliens and planets, stars and milky ways. 

While, Debby didn’t fully understand, him being in some small garage band playing the drums. 

She appreciated what he put his entire soul into, as did Josh for her.


	2. uhm autistic venting via tyler joseph

Two minutes. That was the scarce limit his therapist recommended for his phone calls. 

His mom thought it was a good idea, though, after finding her 22 year old son on the floor, scratching at his eyes and hyperventilating. The phone was thrown askew beside him, the line still going, his aunt was deeply concerned for Tyler’s health that day. 

Tyler’s mom, using optimism to shadow out the negatives and raw proof of how bad Tyler’s mental illnesses are, repeated a near hysterical, “He’s fine!” and set up an appointment with his therapist. 

Maggie. Tyler often fixated on her name, mumbling it under his breath as he picked at scabs on his arms, mindlessly writing it in whatever color pen he held that moment. 

It was his crutch in most ways. More recently, he could usually get through a public event, or when company visited, without repeating her name. Baby steps, but it was clear progress. 

Progress his mother particularly appreciated, her jealousy getting the better of her when she thinks about how her own son can’t even think of her name when he’s in a fit of panic. 

She doesn’t lie though when she answers that she just doesn’t get it. Or, how could he be so close to her, a random therapist, but not me, his own mother?

Tyler eavesdrops on conversations, when he’s not feeling especially talkative, or just doesn’t enjoy a certain person’s presence as it throws off his mental chie.

Tyler listens. Tyler knows things, and Tyler understands things. 

He understands why he gets hurt over certain things they say, he also understands why people feel and say certain things that they do. 

But he wouldn’t tell anyone that. Well, except Maggie. 

Tyler, for a long time, began to despise Maggie; His parents throw around jokes about Tyler liking Maggie more than, well, a therapist.

Oh how wrong they were. Tyler figured out through, private sources, that he was homosexual.

But once again, he wouldn’t tell anyone that. Except Maggie. 

Tyler’s mom set him up with a new friend. His name was Joshua. 

He has bright yellow hair, like the sun, Tyler also thought his eyes and smile were like the sun. But he only told Maggie that.  
His hair worried Tyler’s mom, as when Tyler was over something, he was over it. 

And that happened a lot with colors. But Tyler didn’t mind the color yellow all the time, only if it was in Josh’s hair though. 

Josh dressed in dark clothing, stylistic, it was easy for Tyler’s brain to process, he saw it, and he knew it was Josh, and Josh made him happy. 

Josh’s therapist recommended that he carry around some fidget device or item he fixated on when he’s on phone calls, or in general social settings. 

They bonded over their fixations. Josh’s was his drums, he liked to find the beat in things, also being in the background, the attention wasn’t on him but he was still apart of something. 

Tyler had too many. His ukulele, his piano, and his vocal chords.

He liked the vibrations of his vocal chords against his throat. He often times found himself screaming random words or lyrics in the woods. 

He liked the sound and melody of a ukulele, the strings tickling his fingers in a really good way. He felt in control.

The piano was soft, quiet, and emotional. He could speak without speaking. And he could switch from hard and soft, speaking and yelling different emotions. 

Music was good. Music was his. 

Josh was also good. Josh was his too.


	3. trench/dema stuff, also tyler's whiny and josh is kind of a grumpy dick but for a reason ok

“I didn’t even ask for any of this to happen! Why’re you giving me the cold shoulder?” 

Tyler’s face was running hot, and so was his bloodstream. He feels as though his insides could coagulate at any given moment and he could fall over dead. He was surprised there was no steam pushing out of his ears. 

Ever since Tyler woke up in the stream, beaten and surely on his last let, yet the ‘Banditos’ came and saved him, Josh has been nothing but silent and cold to him. Almost like he’s made and Tyler purposely caused all this trouble and made Josh rescue him. 

Josh just sat, perched on a log angled towards the fire, silent, pensive, cold. 

Ever since being around Josh, the-almighty-leader of the Banditos, he’s always reminded him of Dema.

Silent, cold, lonely, harsh, dark, mind-numbingly-dead. 

Tyler’s had enough. He sighed, getting up off the log that he was sat on next to Josh. 

“You know, I wish you guys never came and got me, yeah, that place fucking sucked, but at least I got taken care of, somewhat. And at least they talked to me!” Tyler didn’t mean a single word that dripped off of his tongue, but he couldn’t stop the flow. He hoped the words stung just as much this whole ordeal. 

Still nothing. 

With a huff, Tyler turned, taking one step before he heard a voice, an unfamiliar one. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

Tyler’s heart almost jumped out of his chest. 

He turned in a flurry, surprised at both hearing him talk, and just hearing his voice in general. 

Josh was still staring at the fire, same emotion on his face, if there was one in the first place, and the same stature. 

Tyler for the first time ever, didn’t have anything to say to Josh. Because Josh was actually speaking to him. 

“You don’t know Dema, like i do, like we do.” 

Tyler was silent, listening in on his story, he didn’t even move back to sit down, worried that if he were to make a wrong move, Josh wouldn’t speak again. 

“My people--our people, we know Dema. You were just some random weakling they happened to be attached to. Too attached to do anything, by the looks of it.” 

Josh actually cracked a smile, his chest and shoulders jumping slightly, as if he gave a small puff of a laugh. 

“Yes, you’ve collected some scratches and bruises. Perhaps some knock outs and choke outs, but you haven’t experienced Dema. No, not even in the slightest.” Shivers ran down Tyler’s spine, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He was frozen in the moist mud beneath his boots. 

Josh really was like Dema. He was controlling over Tyler. In the harshest, mind-controlling, body aching ways. 

“I’m a runaway Bishop. Cloak, beating, cult meetings and all. I was a Bishop, Tyler.” 

Tyler still had no idea how to react to all of this, his head was getting dizzy and it felt like time had been simultaneously moving fast and slow. 

“You can go ahead and run away, go sit in the mud and pout by a tree. Cry out to your heart's content because your scary leader doesn’t talk to you,” Tyler shuddered, Josh’s words knew exactly how to crawl under his skin and just itch. 

“But never tell me that you know what Dema is like, or that it’s good.” 

Tyler gulped as Josh turned around to stare at him directly in the eyes, his eyes burning through him like neon gravestones. Full of hopeless life, and burning death. 

“Do you understand me, Tyler?” Tyler didn’t feel himself nod, but he knew he did by the way his vision moved slightly up and down. And by the way Josh slightly nodded back, turning back to the fire without another word. 

As Josh’s eyes left Tyler’s, he crashed and burned back into reality, almost falling over as his dizziness brought along nausea. 

And with that, he turned, away from Josh, away from that conversation, and away from the burning sensation and smell of death in the air. 

It must be close, Tyler thinks, as a vulture swoops by, landing somewhere in the nearby woods. 

It must be close.


	4. poor jenna

Tyler mumbled out another mindless ‘Yeah.’ as he sipped from his cup, eyes flickering out of boredom around the room. 

“You’re not listening, are you?” Jenna’s voice was clearly painted in disappointment, her mouth fell in a scowl. 

She was currently doing up her makeup for the school dance that their parents forced them to go to. Together. 

Tyler sighed, setting down his drink and resting his elbow on the vanity they both sat at, resting his cheek on his knuckles. 

“I’m trying. To make an effort, y’know?” 

“Hardly.” Jenna snickered at Tyler’s rolling eyes.

“Dances just aren’t my thing. Not a fan of getting in uncomfortable dress clothes, as you’re forced through a few hours of violently sweetened punch, and your peers grinding on each other.” Tyler wasn’t necessarily lying. 

“I get it. But you could at least try a little harder to make this night nice for one of us.” 

Tyler was silent at that, too bored and already exhausted to think of a snark reply. 

After a few moments of silence, and Jenna finishing up her eye look, she put everything away and before Tyler could say anything about her finally being ready, she spoke. 

“Is it Josh?” 

That caught Tyler so off guard he almost fell off his placement perched on the vanity seat. 

“What do you mean by that?” Tyler knew all too well what Jenna meant, but he also didn’t think he was that obvious. 

“Do you wish you were going with Josh? Don’t lie to me, I’ve seen how you look at him. Hell, I’ve heard how you talk about him.” That made heat rise to Tyler’s cheeks, which he tried to play off.

“We’re just friends. Platonic pals, dude bros, the whole shebang.” Tyler smirked as he thought, 

“Plus, I’ve also seen how you look and talk about Debbie.” It was Jenna’s turn for her cheeks to turn pink. 

“C’mon, I don’t even think she swings that way.” 

Tyler straightened up at that, an appalled look across his face. 

“You kidding me? She turned down Josh twice when he was still in the closet. Josh! Of all people she turned down Josh.” Jenna just lightly shook her head and looked in the mirror. 

“Okay, fine, keep your hard on for Josh in your pants. She still hasn’t officially come out yet. I don’t wanna be the gay girl she turns down and then turns around and comes out.” 

Tyler just smiled, staring at Jenna through the mirror, silently wishing it was Josh but dealing with what he has. 

“You look beautiful. I’d be shocked if Debbie doesn’t finally wake up and see what she’s missing.” 

Jenna smiled. 

“Ditto. With Josh, of course.” 

They arrived at the dance shortly after their bedroom girl gossip hour. 

Tyler’s hands were sweating as he nervously pushed them into his pockets. 

Jenna was surprisingly keeping her cool, seeming to almost have a constant smile. 

Almost instantaneously, like a sore thumb, Tyler spotted Josh’s wild hair from the entrance of the gym. 

Fuck. He thought, He’s stunning to look at. 

Jenna lightly elbowed him, raising her eyebrows and nodding towards Josh, the smile never leaving her face. 

Tyler gulped, nodding back at her and beginning to make his way to Josh.

What the hell was he doing.


	5. windows

It was around 2:23 AM when Josh was woken up due to light continuous tapping on his window, across from his bed.

He’s been asleep since 9:45 PM so it took him a while to come to, drowsiness dragging him down further into his cocoon of warmth and fabric.

His eyes bolted open when he saw a figure outside the window. It only looking like a blank silhouette because of the moon beating down. 

His escalating heartbeat slowed down though when the window opened and he heard his friend, Tyler.

“Josh, calm down, it’s me, Ty.” 

Josh let out a shaky breath, his chest still pounding and his head kind of dizzy, but at least he wasn’t about to be murdered due to his slow tired reactions and little to no reflexes. 

“Jeez, you could've texted me or something before giving me a borderline heart attack.” Josh huffed, his voice gravelly, shocking both him and Tyler, but he was just asleep so it wasn’t that much of a surprise. 

“Why are you here? You forget something?” Josh’s words were slurred but it was coherent enough for Tyler to understand as he made himself comfortable on Josh’s windowsill. 

“Can’t sleep, don’t wanna sleep. Need to get up and do something. Talk to someone.” 

Tyler’s features were highlighted by the moonlight, the rest of him unidentifiable surrounded in darkness. He looked like an artist’s wet dream, or a love poet’s porn. 

Josh couldn’t lie that he liked Tyler. Being young and in high school he hasn’t really had the time to wrap his head around how he liked Tyler. He just knew his head got floaty and his heart fluttered when they were together. That was good enough for him.

“Okay, well, what do you wanna talk about? The inevitability of death or the existentialism that resonates throughout the universe?” Tyler snorts, the corner of his mouth lit up enough to where Josh can see the grin he had plastered across his exhausted skin. 

Tyler ran a hand through his hair, sighing before snuggling into his hoodie further. Josh’s hoodie. 

“Quite the opener.” 

“I wasn’t the one who opened up the conversation by crawling through a window at 2 am.” They both snickered, then Tyler scoffed.  
“I can easily go home.” 

“Don’t.” Josh was quick to decline that offer. Yeah, he was missing a lot of sleep. But it was because of Tyler. He was fine. 

He could Tyler looked over at him. And he could hear his smile in the quiet night. 

Tyler was in the same boat as Josh. He found Josh beautiful. Curly hair, awkward lanky limbs and all. 

The moon showed Josh more, and there was a Tyler shaped shadow across him.

Tyler reminded himself to take a good mental picture before he left. 

“Okay, I won’t.” Tyler’s voice was soft, no surprise snarky remark or joke about Josh’s urgency.

It was just, quiet and gentle, like the atmosphere soaking up their interaction. 

“Do you wanna come lay down? I can’t imagine that windowsill is too comfy.” 

Tyler would accept, but the view of not only the scenery outside the window. 

But the scenery inside the window. 

Tyler would often people watch. Driving by houses and peering through windows. 

He wasn’t trying to be creepy. It was just an interesting quick peek into people’s lives. 

More times than not you could only get quick glances of a television or a lamp. Possibly the lights of a ceiling fan. 

But it was satisfying. Satisfying to know everything is real. That people are actually out there living. Not just some backdrop to Tyler’s mind. 

This was probably the best window he’s ever looked in.


	6. uh this is rlly sad religion/homophobia shit//

Tyler rested all his 5’10 height and 153 weight against the front door as he panted. 

His lungs were burning, his chest was burning, his fingertips were burning, his legs and feet were burning. 

“That’s the last time I’m saving your ass like that.” Voice straining against the oxygen fighting to flow through his lungs, he spoke angrily to his friend, Josh.

Josh was shifting from foot to foot, borderline hyperventilating all the same. 

“I didn’t exactly expect you to grab your bat and go with me, I would of been fine.” 

Tyler scoffed and dropped the wooden bat on the floor, the pang sounding out through the silent house like the heartbeat of your loved one’s in a hospital.

“Yeah, ‘cause you looked real fine when you were on the ground with their feet beating into your rib cage.” Josh gulped and began biting down his thumbnail. 

“It’s not like it’s anything I’m not used to.” Shit, he was playing that card again.

Tyler and Josh’s families have always been close, attending the same churches and Sunday brunches. 

When they were younger, they were inseparable, best friends.

That all ended when they both went through puberty.

More importantly Tyler.

Rushes of hormones, new thoughts and feelings, new sensations and possibilities. 

It all gnawed on Tyler like vultures to an animal corpse.

Of course, when he was younger, he didn’t think twice why he strictly only wanted to hang out with boys. 

It was treated normal, boys were friends with boys, and girls were friends with girls.

But as Tyler grew, his understanding of his feelings also grew.

Especially about Joshua.

At first there was denial, all the same old ‘But he’s my friend? How is that even possible to feel such a way?’.

And then the dreams, and accidental calling out of names when he had time to be alone. 

Flushed faces and warm funny feelings from the touch of a hand. 

Tyler hated it. Tyler hated himself.

Every time he searched up ‘men’ during his alone time, it made his gut turn in more ways than just arousal. 

Whenever he thought of himself being gay, or felt certain ways, he hated it.

The thought of being a gay male in his christian family made him wanna throw up.

And then Josh came out.

Tyler was shocked, disgusted in himself still, though he supported his friend and obviously didn’t have a problem with the subject down to its essentials. 

But that all just scared him more.

The universe was setting him with opportunity. 

Opportunity to succeed, but simultaneously lose. 

He was so close. So close. 

So close to just, admitting, confessing, coming clean and possibly, just maybe, accepting himself? He was of course gonna tell Josh first, how could he not tell something so private and gut wrenching to his best friend? 

Thoughts like that swarmed his head until he found Josh.

On the ground.

It was all a blur of fists and feet, kicking and swinging, screaming and yelling. 

Slurs were being thrown around everywhere, almost like they were thrown attached to their choice of weapon. 

Tyler was frozen, deer in headlights, his heart sank and he felt his eyes well up.

But, out of fear, and pure internalized homophobia. 

He joined them. 

His mind was blank, he must of blacked out through the whole thing.

That’s the only way he could of functioned doing something like that to Josh. 

He still has Josh’s betrayed, hurt, tortured face in his mind, never leaving, permanently painted on the walls and ceiling of his head.

They went years without speaking. Rightfully so.

Tyler never tried to talk or apologize. 

How do you make up for something like that?

It was only a few years ago where their families got together for some reunion for their old church where Josh apologized. 

Josh apologized. 

Josh apologized for Tyler’s fists assaulting his body.

Tyler was silent, he just stood, frozen, he probably stopped breathing for a few moments.

He wanted to throw up. Which he did. 

He ran to the bathroom, Josh’s calls mere echoes in his brain. 

He threw up for a good hour, forcibly making himself do so. 

Tyler wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, maybe trying to force out all the pent up anger and emotions, repressed memories and apologies that wouldn’t work, all the guilt and fear he had for himself. 

Josh was there the whole time, holding his friend’s sobbing, heaving, hyperventilating body.

He was still hurt, it probably wasn’t gonna ever not hurt, but he missed his best friend, and in ways he understood.

Josh just guessed he was better at dealing with internalized homophobia. 

“I’m sorry.” The weak apology made Tyler wanna gag again, but his body was so tired, so hurt, tears streaming down his face as he was subconsciously torturing himself to feel how bad he hurt his friend. 

“It’s fine, I already told you I can forgive you. I’m not saying I should, and I’m not saying I’m not mad anymore or hurt, I still despise you for that,” 

“Rightfully so.” Tyler croaked out.

“But I miss my best friend, I have yet to find someone who I can befriend the same way. Strangely enough.” Every word made Tyler’s tears stream stronger, he wasn’t even reacting to his own tears, but he felt like he was being stabbed over and over again.

He wanted to be stabbed over and over again. He deserved it. 

“Tyler, can I tell you something.”

Tyler let out a small noise, too tired to give a reply, but wanting to let Josh know he was listening. 

“I love you.”


	7. tyler's a goner apparently and josh is imagining burning cars

It was a ghost town. 

Absolutely chilling.

Various lights were turned on in homes but that was it. 

Other than the snow’s silence, and the notable buzzing from the streetlights, the world was shut off.

The crashed car that was set aflame was also pretty noticeable. 

The nippy wind chilled through Josh as he shivered, bundling further in his jacket covered in burn marks and ash. 

How he got here, or how he even survived, from the ugly car crash he assumed he came from, was beyond Josh. 

All he remembered was being submerged in darkness for a few moments, then, all of a sudden, he felt pain everywhere, and suddenly, he was here. 

In the middle of some snowy dead end neighborhood road, with a car in flames, completely totaled, black and ashy. 

And he didn’t even know who he was, or why and how he got here. 

Then, all of a sudden, he heard a noise. 

A confusing, slightly annoying noise. 

Josh couldn’t 100% identify it or confirm what it was, but when he looked over to some kid on the corner of the block with an accordion in his hand with some other kid filming it, he assumed he could at least pinpoint where it was coming from. 

I’m a goner. 

Somebody catch my breath. 

The young boy’s voice made Josh shiver more than the snow and air did. 

Strange. 

The kid had a nice melody in his voice, fitting in with the mystic night and the accordion he played.  
Josh must of looked like a total creep. 

Standing at the end of a neighborhood, watching some kid play an instrument and sing a silly song while another kid films.

Josh was just staring, he couldn’t get enough. 

Josh must of zoned out, because all of a sudden the kid filming was in front of Josh, a complete look of terror painted over his features as he tried to get his attention. 

“What the hell, you creep? We’re trying to make a video here.” 

“I-I swear I’m not a creep! I just somehow ended up here, and then I saw you two here and I must have zoned out-” 

“Leave ‘im alone.” The kid who was singing stepped up, his voice low and soothing.

His voice was much like that of an acoustic guitar, calming, quiet, gentle, making you wanna stay up for hours and listen, yet sending you straight to dream land. 

“But who stands in the middle of a dark neighborhood and stares at two kids?” 

As the two bickered over the ‘creep or not’ title they were gonna give Josh, Josh finally remembered the burning car they were standing next to. 

“Uh, guys, do you mind helping me out with this-” Josh turned towards the car and was instantly shocked. 

The car, not only done burning, but completely fine and repaired. 

Damn, it really does look like he just rolled up here and stared at a pair of kids. 

Speaking of which, the two looked skeptical, which Josh didn’t try to argue that, he was probably just as confused as they are.

“Look, man, we don’t know what kind of shit you’re on, so we’re just gonna ask that you should probably head out of here before we have to take action.” Camera boy was awful mouthy and quick on his feet, but once again, Josh couldn’t exactly blame him. 

All he could do was feel entirely engulfed in intrigue for the singing boy behind him, who was not actually singing anymore, but Josh didn’t know their names so he had to be creative here. 

In most ways, he feels a lot like the car, randomly placed here, burning flames coursing through him as his emotions took over, confusion, fear, and intrigue. 

Then, once the singing boy spoke, he felt calm, almost focused and placed back on his feet that he already stood on, repaired. 

Josh just nodded and gave an awkward closed mouth smile as he stumbled over to the car. 

The two watched him all the way, which made his nerves sky high. 

As he fumbled his way into the car, he didn’t realize how easy he started it up and began to drive away. 

He’s not familiar with this car in any way, yet he entered it like his own home.

He’s gonna need a lot of caffeine to think this one through. 

As Josh drove, streetlights cascading across his face like a high budget music video, he couldn’t get his mind off that singing kid. 

I wanna be known,

By you. 

I wanna be known, 

By you.


	8. soft n cute fetus worrying

Tyler sat on the edge of his piano, staring down and fiddling with the corded microphone in his hand.

The only sound around him other than his heartbeat playing out the tune of his nerves, was casual chatter from security and various workers in the venue that night. 

People coming in and out carrying cabs and other vital equipment for the show made him feel lightheaded. 

He nearly dropped the microphone as a sudden voice sounded out beside him. 

“Hey, Ty, you okay?” It was Josh. The new drummer in the band. 

He was nice. Nicer than Tyler expected. Josh did come from a more known local band. 

Tyler would be lying if he said the whole ordeal didn’t intimidate him. 

Tyler gave a weak nod, not tearing his eyes away from the microphone in his now shaking hands. 

The sudden interaction made him much more nervous than when he was hidden in his own thoughts. 

“Excited for tonight? We’re so gonna kill it, dude. We got this.” 

Josh’s optimism made Tyler sick to his stomach, but he appreciated it nonetheless. 

“Yeah.” He could almost feel Josh stiffen beside him. To be fair Tyler wasn’t exactly fully use to him, and they were mere hours away from performing for the first time in front of people together. 

“Well, let me know if you need anything.” And with that he was off, making Tyler shrink in on himself. 

C’mon, he thought, don’t scare the new guy off, he’s done nothing wrong, he’s just as passionate as you are, and seems to be taking care of his nerves more than you are. 

Tyler finally looked up, taking in his surroundings, breathing it in. 

It was all very surreal, it was just a few years ago where he was singing the songs he’s about to perform in front of people, in his bedroom, alone and lost.

Performing in a small, free and local venue doesn’t exactly put his head on the straightest.   
But God does it feel good. 

Every now and then there’d be a small group of people, or just one or two in the crowd, that knew the words. 

Tyler’s words that he wrote when he was at his lowest stuck with people, enough to where they screamed and sung back the words to him, jumped and clapped and permanently had smiles on their faces, during and leaving. 

Josh was incredibly talented, and while Tyler was nervous beyond the point of explaining, something felt right. 

While they were just two awkward kids who could play instruments from Columbus Ohio, it felt surprisingly natural to be on stage, especially with Josh. 

Almost immediately Tyler jumped off the piano and went to search out Josh. 

When found, he kept his quiet cool and walked up beside him. 

Placing a hand on his shoulder, he spoke.

“We’re gonna do great. I see us going places. We got this.”

Josh smiled at him, placing his hand on top of Tyler’s atop his shoulder. 

“Knew you’d come around.”


	9. josh's hair is like the sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i force pretty boys to have my problems so i forget i have those problems

Tyler laid across Josh’s lap as they lounged on the couch, he began to eye Josh’s vibrant yellow hair. 

“Something wrong?” Tyler nibbled on his bottom lip, nose scrunching. 

“Your hair is like the sun, Joshie!” Josh couldn’t help the smile he cracked for the giggling, fidgeting boy facing up at him. 

Tyler was on the autism spectrum. As loving and supportive as his parents are, they often cringe at the term, or brush it under the carpet. 

He’s had often meltdowns his whole life, even becoming non-verbal sometimes. Intense fixations, anxiety, childish behaviors during older stages in life. 

Josh didn’t care, though, Tyler was his best friend. He couldn’t dream of not being there for Tyler, or hurting him somehow. 

Tyler appreciated it, a lot, somewhere, deep down. Josh knew it too. 

Tyler wasn’t able to be very in touch with his emotions, all he knew is sometimes everything got too much and it was scary. 

Josh was, and is the only person Tyler has ever hugged. Tyler’s mother cried a lot that day. 

She threatened to ban Josh from their house. It was impulsive and laced with heartbreak, Josh understood. 

Tyler had his biggest, most emotional meltdown that evening. His mother, taking it understandably very hard, finally came to terms how vital Josh is to Tyler. 

It was quite reassuring for Josh. 

“Should I color my hair pretty, Josh?”

Tyler’s nimble fingers found the crevice of his own lips, sneaking past and into his mouth.

“I don’t know, Bub, it’s up to you.” Josh ran a gentle hand through Tyler’s hair.

A glaze of comforting silence fell around them. 

“Would I look pretty, Joshie?” Josh flushed. 

“You’re always pretty, Ty.” 

Tyler just stared at Josh before squealing and flapping his hands about. 

Josh may have gotten swatted at, but the smile never left his face because of the squirming, giggling boy across his lap. 


	10. Sahlo Folina (OOOOHH, SERIOUS TITLE?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh not sure what this is but it sounds cool and tyler/(clancy?) is fuckin wild man

He screamed and shouted, until his voice was hoarse and he choked, tears  spilling  out of the slits in his face. 

It was  _ shrill, _ and  _ vibrant.  _ Much like the color  _ Yellow.  _

His throat glowed in that  _ awful, sickening, lively color,  _ as he punished his vocal chords. 

They considered chaining him up, putting a stop to the thrashing and self harming, but it was so bad they feared he’d find a way to break loose. 

He exclaimed a phrase, one that made The Bishops sick to their stomachs, every letter slipping into their skin like a knife. It was _ hopeful, threatening,  _ and _ Yellow. Sahlo Folina.  _

Suddenly, the noise stopped. The thrashing, kicking, fighting, spitting, glowing. Everything just  _ stopped.  _

The Bishops worried. He wasn’t dead, or plotting. He just  _ stopped.  _

That’s when they finally chained him up, sitting on the cold cement floor, arms going numb behind his back.

Then, one night, he spoke, head tilted down and voice low enough that The Bishops had to strain to hear.

_ “Sahlo Folina, I cried. At first, I thought it was hopeless, why would they listen and take pity? Cries and yells, they’re probably used to it by now. But every time I passed out, overexerted and overworked. I felt hope. Haven’t felt so hopeful since I was oh but young. I could practically feel the Yellow. Feel the warmth of the torches, the comfort of bodies surrounding me that felt alive.”  _

Tears poured freely, a steady stream of blood out of his left nostril. He shook, breaths coming out staggered as he tilted his head back, thumbing against the hard wall, his eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head. 

He laughed, The Bishops have never felt so  _ unsafe  _ yet  _ alive.  _

The fear that shot through them made their bodies blossom in something they’ve only heard in the form of whispers in halls. 

_ “Sahlo Folina.” They wanted to rip that name out of his throat and mind, making him forget it forever.  _

_ “Plastered in the colors, embers at the front of the line. They’ll come. They are coming. Soon, I’ll be out of here, among the trees and smoke from campfires, surrounded by colors only imagined by young children.”  _

_ “Once I’m out, you’ll only seem like a creation. Something from my weak, cold mind. I can destroy you. You’re nothing but a cold cave surrounded by fog. Sahlo Folina.”  _

Eyes fully rolling back, his eyelids shut, his body shuddered slightly, but he knocked out quickly. Though The Bishops didn’t panic, as they saw his chest continue to rise and fall. 

They’ll never forget the ring in their ears whenever the man spoke  _ that phrase.  _

Nor will they forget when they entered into an empty room in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heY yeah, this is pretty up for interpretation. clancy or tyler, u decide. i h a d tyler in mind when i wrote it. but it can go for both. and also plenty of theories out there that say tyler IS clancy so hm . up to u fam


	11. An Anchor

They just got done with a show. 

Fans still screaming, sweat pouring down their bodies, chests heaving.

Though, everything was very muted in their dressing room. Not silent, muted. Tyler loved it; craved it. Ears still ringing and heart beating a mile a minute.

It took him a minute, to recollect his thoughts, his voice. Vocal cords raspy and wavering.

“Everything’s so, insignificant.” 

Josh was very taken aback, eyebrows shooting up and eyes widening. He choked out an awkward laugh. Puff of breath more or less.

“Yeah. I mean, yeah.”

Tyler was sat atop an arm of a couch, the first one his feet dragged him to upon entering the room. Josh was sprawled out across said couch.

Tyler fiddled with his hands, suddenly feeling shallow and minuscule.

“When you think about it, nothing  _ really  _ matters. We do this because it helps not only us, but other people. We can all forget about our sorrows while simultaneously singing about them, dancing among others and not being  _ so alone _ .” 

Josh eyed his friend nervously, pondering if he’s about to spiral and he’s gonna have to swoop in and save him.

But, until then he listened, “Yeah.” 

It wasn’t much, and at the moment, Tyler didn’t fully appreciate the nervous, sputtered replies. But it was something. Tyler wasn’t alone.

Josh’s voice was like a weight to Tyler sometimes. An anchor that steadies him, his mind, his hands, his voice, when he’s lost at sea. Sea of his mind.

“I mean, there’s other people out there, with our names, other people’s names. Nobody’s original, or  _ truly  _ themselves. Someone out there has a copy. But they all live different lives. Some already  _ have  _ lived different lives.” 

He stopped, breathing in, letting the oxygen flow around his lungs like a rebellious teen taking their first puff of a cigarette. 

His head was light but his mind was heavy, he felt like his body was just bobbing around. 

He suddenly felt a panic. Hot, heavy, and bright. A lot like the lights they use on stage. Except now he wasn’t listening to thousands of people sing  _ his  _ words and  _ his  _ thoughts back to him. It was only his own brain, screaming, and picking.

He needed Josh. He,  _ needed _ , Josh. 

He scrunched his eyes closed, slowly easing himself to sit atop Josh’s legs pressed into the brown cushions they laid upon.

“Josh, Josh.  _ Josh, I need you to talk to me _ .” 

Josh, along with Tyler’s movements, which were now sporadic and shaky and uncoordinated, sat up and placed a steady hand on Tyler’s shoulder.  _ An anchor _ .

“I don’t really, know--what to say, um, It’s going to be okay. Let’s start there.” 

Tyler shook his head up and down, nodding quickly. Hair flopping around. An easy small movement seeming so  _ fast  _ and  _ heavy  _ on his head.

“Listen to my voice, okay? I’m right here. I haven’t left, and I’m not going to.  _ Wouldn’t ever plan on it _ . I’d sit here and talk to you forever,  _ and I mean that, hear me? _ ”

Tyler nodded once more, but Josh needed more.

“I need you to say your words, bub.” 

Unaware of where the pet name came from, he flushed. But let it slide when he saw his friend’s shoulders begin to untense and his eyes got less scrunched. 

He’d probably tease later when all things are said and done, but he’d always know that he doesn’t actually dislike how numb his legs are going right now as his friend is pulled close. In most ways, Tyler was  _ his  _ anchor.

“Yes.  _ Yes, Josh.  _ I hear you.” 

After a few more moments of talking, Tyler was good and calm.

They were also laying down, together, Josh’s arms around Tyler’s petite form,  _ tight _ .  _ An anchor _ . 

But that’s fine, there wasn’t anything else to it. He was just holding onto Tyler so he didn’t float away.  _ An anchor _ . 


	12. jyler angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres a happy ending i promise dont hit me

Tyler gripped the steering wheel, knuckles burning white.  _ Everything was so quiet.  _ He could hear his own breathing, heartbeat, thoughts. He took a drive, thinking it’d help distract him from the real world,  _ his  _ real world. But alas, here he is, tears welding up but not falling and teeth grinding.

It’s weird, and kind of painful, how the world just keeps  _ going  _ even when you’re hurting. Not that people know, or are even supposed to know. It’s just a strange reminder how real everything is and how real people are. Life just keeps moving. 

Tyler was parked on the side of a freeway, colors almost blurring together as panic raced throughout him. Josh tried to stop him, he really did, talking him out of his mumbling squirming state. But Tyler is, well, Tyler. He’s stubborn. So, he got in his car and drove, and here he arrived. 

It was a fight. Not really, a slightly heavy sided petty argument. But Jenna went to bed mad. They swore they wouldn’t be like that.  _ Tyler  _ swore he’d never do that. But there she laid, trying to huff out her anger, cooling down from the almost yelling match they had. 

It took awhile for everything to set in. Once again Tyler was stubborn. But when it did set in, it hit Tyler like a wall of bricks.

His breathing immediately racked through his small frame like a tornado in a small town. His hands ran through his hair and tugged so hard he thought it was gonna fall out. That wasn’t that long ago. 

Now, being alone, out in the middle of some freeway. Shaking has died down and his eyes are glossy of tears that were once building.

His phone went off, making his heart jump out of his chest and run down the road. Or, at least that’s what it felt like. He collected himself and picked it up, hands shaking so bad he could barely read the tiny words on the screen. 

** _I love you. _ **

** _We’ll get through this, I know we will. I know we CAN. _ **

** _Come home please. _ **

** _Be safe, love you Ty. _ **

Tyler swallowed down the lump in his throat and smiled, typing an ‘i love you’ back, setting his phone down. 

_ They were gonna be okay.  _

Tyler actually smiled, breathing completely calmed now. He got his car in gear and took off, on his way back home, counting the stars until they lead him back to Jenna. 


End file.
